"The Fyre Festival happened. It’s a beautiful metaphor for the decade: you pay ten thousand dollars for a luxury experience and end up in a wet tent eating a piece of cheese on a slice of bread."

"The "Me Too" movement started. It turns out that every powerful man in Hollywood is actually three creeps in a trench coat. It’s a shock to everyone except every woman who has ever had a job."

"TikTok was launched (as Douyin/Musical.ly merger). Finally, a way to destroy your attention span in 15-second increments so you don’t have to feel the crushing weight of reality for too long."

"The doctor told me I had "Election Stress Disorder." I told him I’m Canadian. He said, "It doesn’t matter, the fumes are crossing the border.""

"My neighbor bought a "smart speaker." I told him it’s listening to everything he says. He said, "I don’t care, I have nothing to hide." I told him the AI is currently judging his taste in music. He hasn’t spoken to the speaker since."

"Get Out was a hit. A movie about a man who realizes his girlfriend’s family is trying to steal his soul. Or, as I call it, a typical Thanksgiving dinner."

"I like to keep my house very quiet. It makes it easier to hear the neighbors’ property values dropping."

"Hope is like a lighthouse. It tells you where the rocks are, but it doesn’t do anything to stop the ship from hitting them."

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. A realist sees the invoice."

"Bitcoin hit $20,000. It’s a miracle: people are becoming millionaires off of "math money" while I’m still struggling to figure out how to pay for a real sandwich with actual paper."